In Memorium

It should be said that at some point we're all going to die. I'm going to be resting under a gravestone, if they can find my body, and the same goes for you. I may die next year or forty years from now, you may die next month. Accidents happen. The thing is, nobody knows. What strikes me as odd is that we're supposed to ignore the fact that it could come sooner and plan for the future as though it will be there for us. If you've ever watched Dead Poet's Society, or read a book, you know the phrase "Carpe diem" which continues "quam minimum credula postero." It means, "Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future." We will not be famous, you or I. History books will not teach about us in schools. It will not matter to me, as I'll stop caring what the world does when I die, but while I live, it makes me feel small. No doubt, my ambition will die out as I age. Grandparents rejoice in the legacy that is their grandchildren, and all too many parents place their children as their number one priority in life, even above themselves, abandoning the possibility that greatness is in their future yet. Children serve as a checkpoint that we have accomplished something in our lives, that our life has not been in vain. Children mean something will continue as a result of our life. The frustrations and work they require along the way are nothing by comparison. I find it remarkable whenever I encounter somebody who says they do not want children, for it means they either have not placed a high value on their legacy, or they plan on doing things with themself that will stand on their own. It is human nature to desire kids, to fertilize them in your womb or place them in another's. To deny yourself of this living need is a mistake that will manifest itself through countless lonely nights as one's youth wears thin and death approaches. I would like to have kids sometime in the next 15-20 years. Until then, I will be satisfied fulfilling my own life to its fullest, building wealth, friends, knowledge, a reputation, and a slew of memories and relationships in my wake. Currently, I have little that could keep my dead self happy in the event of my sudden demise. A few saddened family members and friends are all that link my life with the future. It's not enough. I write these thoughts, setting finger to key, to solidify my worth in this world. It works in place of children should I die tomorrow. Only communicated thoughts have any value, and I would rather have a piece of me floating in the cyber-void than have all my thoughts disappear with me, a wisp of smoke. That is what writing is to me. It is the transformation of my self onto paper. Text lasts longer than organs or bones. Homer endures. Shakespeare endures. Everyone else is forgotten. So, while you may feel you're getting to know me uncomfortably well, I thank you for allowing me to communicate my thoughts, for giving value to words which have no meaning without someone to read them, for helping me continue my delusional legacy.