An art expert.

This weekend, I travelled with my dad and his girlfriend to the city. We stayed in a hotel two nights, my dad ran a marathon, we drove to see one of my sisters for a day, we bought some of her artwork, then drove home. My sister Melissa is a very talented artist. Seriously. But, her main job is raising her three kids, aged 5, 10, and 15. On the side she plays on a volleyball team, coaches 16-year-old volleyball, leads Cub Scouts, drives her kids everywhere (viola/piano lessons, sports practice), helps them with homework, cooks, cleans, takes them to Church, takes her art to galleries, manages her website and, lastly, does amazing artwork. The other stuff is important too, the housewife/motherly stuff, but I'm mostly impressed with her art. Her recent pencil series, "organic escapes," is a seemless melding of roots, grass, caves, organs, body parts, trees, and lakes together. The detail in it can hold my attention for hours. We drove to a gallery to pick up her painting called "O.C.D.," Organic Color Design, which I intended to get, but the gallery manager had left early yesterday so we couldn't get to it. The three we bought are currently hanging as a centerpiece in the living room and they make me happy, not only because they elicit wonder, but because the mind that created it is related to me and therefore I may have some of that genius inside myself. I'm not an art expert, but I wish I was. Art isn't just something to look at, it's a feeling. Looking at a piece is like stopping to smell the roses. Although it was my dad's idea to buy some of her artwork, he went about it all wrong. He went about buying his daughter's art in an "I'll buy it but I won't pick it out because I don't care" way, so that he can take either the credit or the blame, rather than presenting his lack of involvement in the art selection as "I can't decide which piece I like best." Although she's an adult, it's still important to receive praise from her father, and he didn't ask questions or show interest with her artwork. Asking questions is extremely important. He left the choosing of what art to buy to me, so I delightedly sorted through her pictures and paintings like a boy in a toy store. Issues like this are where he and I differ. I actively seek to make people happy. I'm blunt with constructive suggestions, and I don't lie (for example, I don't say I like something if I don't), but I know how to get people to like me. My sister Missy is seventeen years older than I am and we see each other about once a year: I know that when dealing with someone you don't know that well, there are easy ways to keep a conversation going and also light up their face with pleasure. It is a fine art. First, find out what interests them. It may be art, music, sports, kids, a job, a project, movies, gossip, books, marriage, politics, the economy or anything. Next, ask them about the things that interest them. Third, come across as sincere: this means be sincere. With body language and eye contact, jokes and curiosity, it's easy to be likeable, no matter our differences. A person will not care if you are very different than them and cannot identify with their walk of life as long as you respect it. Obviously, people like to be thought of as interesting, so show interest. If they know you like them, they will more readily like you. People do not want a "yes man" to agree with everything they do--a differing opinion keeps things honest. Constant agreement leads to suspicion and thoughts of incincerity, which builds a silent tension and lessens respect. For example, if I don't like a meal, I will suggest how it could be better next time. My dad will say he likes it. Over time, my praise for the good meals is sought after and worth more than my dad's because my comments are always sincere, honest. I don't have my career set, but I still command a great deal of respect. My father is normally a very decisive person, but when it comes to dealing with people, he doesn't have it down like I do. He never asks opinions, but he asks my opinion. It feels as though I'm becoming the man of the house in my dad's stead, because I have the answers on how to behave in situations where he is unsure, from his role as a husband to parenting his children. It's an odd role reversal. When someone asks for advice, they secretly already know the answer they want to hear; they simply want it gift wrapped and presented to them properly. Surprise! It's common sense! Clouded issues are clear when you understand the important parts clearly. People already have their tendencies and beliefs stamped into them. Once uncertainty dawns, he/she simply needs to understand how this issue relates to his or her values. Guidance is easy once you understand their beliefs. Maybe I should be a life coach. Ha.